Hammered Horoscope

By Tassie Zingaro Sep 27, 2021
What drinking habits are common for your zodiac sign? Read, enjoy, and — hopefully — have a laugh!
Share on Facebook

Let’s analyze all signs of the zodiac while they are drinking and see how they interact with one another when hammered!

Which sign is safe to have a drink with?

Which sign would make the best drinking companion and which should be avoided at all costs?Read our funny Hammered Horoscope and find out!


A well-oiled Aries is similar to quicksilver: he/she fusses about the room, making sure everyone is having as much fun as Aries is. If someone is not, Aries is sure to buy enough shots to drive the drink dodger to the desired state. And if you want to drown your sorrows in wine, Aries will be your perfect companion.

Aries when drunk


Taurus is a very loyal friend, who will stand by your side in every situation, including a bar-hopping marathon. However, you shouldn’t let your Taurean drinking buddy have one too many, otherwise you’ll have to deal with an incredibly stubborn troublemaker, who will ruin your plan for the night if he/she doesn’t like it. And remember: never pick at a drunken Bull, as alcohol tends to heat up Taurean temper.

Taurus when drunk


Gemini has a complex personality, and booze does not make it any simpler. A drunken Gemini tends to change demeanor constantly and without prior notice. Besides, Twins hate indecisiveness, so the only way to enjoy their company is to work out a detailed plan of your bevvy extravaganza. Make sure that you hop bars, otherwise Gemini will get bored.

Gemini when drunk


A liquored Cancer is totally unpredictable. One moment they are having the time of their lives and the next they are throwing a temper tantrum because the bartender failed to serve them a shot immediately after order. Another possible mode of behavior includes weeping and sobbing, so drinking out with Cancer might not be the best idea.

Cancer when drunk


For Leo, drinking equals talking. Liquor gives a loose to their tongue, and Lions feel like sharing whatever is on their mind with everyone around, no matter if it is agreeable or offensive. Any attempt to bring a hammered Leo to reason will fail: the king of beasts will stay in the lead at all costs.

Leo when drunk


Virgos are solo drinkers, very aesthetic, but not at all companionable. They will hit an expensive neat bar after a stressful day at work to sip on their fav fancy drink, but one will never see them raising their glass in a loud jolly crowd. If you are looking for a regular drinking buddy, Virgo is definitely not an option. However, if you need someone to accompany you to a classy night out, give Virgo a buzz.

Virgo when drunk


Libra is a perfect drinking buddy. They are up to anything you suggest if it includes having lots of fun. Another wonderful quality of theirs is the ability to stay collected no matter how hammered they are. You needn’t worry about drunken fights, if you have a Libra at your party – he/she is sure to resolve any conflict.

Libra when drunk


Hammered Scorpio is a Pandora’s Box: no one has ever known what secrets they are keeping and when booze loosens their tongue, anything Scorpio has been holding back will unfold. This sudden frankness can be both a good and a bad thing. But on the whole, Scorpions are nice to have a drink with: they will keep your company through any situation; moreover, for the most part they tend to stay secretive, so they will never burst into tears in the middle of a fun night out.

Scorpio when drunk


Sagittarius has a sharp tongue, and alcohol only makes it sharper. This is why you should be extremely careful with what you say when drinking with the Archer. However, booze also uncovers a flirtatious side of Sagittarian nature, making Sag a great drinking buddy and a perfect double date partner.

Sagittarius when drunk


A tipsy Capricorn is carefree and fun to be around. The Goat can drink to anything, with anyone and under any circumstances. The only thing that matters for them in the situation that involves booze is getting hammered.

Capricorn when drunk


Drinking with an Aquarius is like walking on thin ice. One moment you are toasting to each other’s health and the next the Water Bearer is pissed off and shouting at you. Aquarius personality is changeable, which makes being around a hammered Aquarius a very interesting experience.

Aquarius when drunk


Cocktailed Pisces is a firework of emotions; their moods are swinging from one extremity to the other. Drinking with the Fishes is worth trying, but only if you are careful enough not to let them have too many shots; otherwise, their emotions flow over the edge. But if you decided to have a drink on the spur of the moment, spontaneous Pisces should be your first choice.

Pisces when drunk
Get premium access to custom rune readings, starting today!
Ask the runes and they will tell you anything about your past, present, and future.
Learn your runes